Holistic Wisdom

To get your vaginal walls toned and ready to crack walnuts (LOL) with the sheer strength of them then doing Kegel exercises using weights definitely helps get them stronger.

Ok, so we do not promise you can crack walnuts but when used properly and consistently Kegel exercisers really work.

An easy thing to do is to insert the Kegel exerciser and to pull it out while trying to hold on to it with your vaginal muscles. This will really give you a good work out.

The bonus to Kegel exercise is that it prevents urinary incontinence, makes sex better and feels good.

See Different Kegel Exercise Products

With antidepressants being prescribed these days as easy as it is for a kid to get candy during Halloween, there is an epidemic of people with loss of libido caused by their use. Most of the time, it is medically unnecessary for people to be on antidepressants in the first place and simply exploring changes in diet, exercise and doing empowering life style changes not only deals with depression but increases sex drive.

Ask Yourself if you Really Need Them?

The prescribing of antidepressants has long been out of control. These drugs were intended for short term use for severe clinical depression of someone who was suicidal. They were intended to chemically stabilize a person long enough until they could get therapy and deal with the underlying issues and no longer need the drugs. They were never intended to be taken like breath mints as they are today.

For example, a woman goes to her doctor and says that she feels like she does not fit in with some of the ladies at her book club and it makes her feel uncomfortable. Next thing you know her doctor has her on Prozac. In her mind it is ok because her doctor said it is, but does she know about the possible motivating financial benefits that her doctor gets for writing that prescription? Rather than deal with her own insecurities, rather than work to improve her self-confidence or even explore finding people in her life that she feels support her, she is now content to live in an uncomfortable lifestyle because she is ‘comfortably numb.’

Therefore, if one is not clinically depressed and simply unhappy it seems rather unnecessary to numb oneself and increase health problems including lowering your sex drive from using antidepressants.

Sex is one of the greatest gifts of pleasure we are given in this life. The loss of it is an important one to look at and why we need to better understand why we take antidepressants in the first place.

Clinical Depression Vs. Unhappiness

Please understand that there is a big difference between being unhappy and clinical, chemical depression. Again, antidepressants can be very helpful short term for someone who is suicidal when clinically necessary. However, please understand that antidepressants were never intended to be taken long term. They have a list of side effects that are undesirable (including loss of sex drive) and they have a tendency to numb happiness right along with one’s depressed feelings. This often means that one is chemically removed and numbed to the very life they are here to experience.

There are of course rare circumstances where one may need to take them long term based on a medical condition, however, those cases are so far and few between, that this article is to address the general overprescribing and general acceptance by the public that is perfectly fine to not only take them if you are simply unhappy and not suicidal but to keep taking them long term.

The Real Use for Antidepressants

Antidepressants were supposed to be prescribed to create a window of time for a clinician to stabilize a patient while they looked for and worked on the underlying cause. Before over prescribing, a clinician often worked with a patient's medical physician to rule out medical issues while doing therapy sessions. This would allow time to check hormone levels and blood work (which can indicate other medical issues that can contribute to anxiety and depression). An example of this is through low vitamin D3 levels, which are a very common reason people, not only feel depressed and anxious but become physically ill. It is an easy thing to address by simply taking vitamin D3.

If a patient is not at risk to harm themselves or someone else, why are our doctors not first doing blood work to check hormone levels and looking for other medical issues that may even be as easy to treat as increasing a certain food group or taking a vitamin? Why are they often only having a discussion with their patient about their generalized unhappiness and quickly writing up that prescription? This is not only happening often, it is the norm.

Getting Empowered

Most people today are not empowered or educated enough about their own health to assert themselves with their doctor and ask for the focus to be on treating the source of the problem; not putting band aids on the symptoms. This does not even begin to address the financial motivations of insurance companies, drug companies and medical practices that may interfere with a patient’s best interests. That is why it is important to at least know one’s options and not accept the status quo when it comes to taking a pill to fix the symptoms.

Many moons ago within eastern medicine a doctor was not paid if you were sick as it meant that they were not doing their job. They were only paid when you were made well. In western medicine the opposite is true.

What is Depression & Anxiety Asking of You?

Depression and anxiety are symptoms and they are our body and mind's way of trying to get our attention to let us know that something needs to be addressed. That is why it is so important for us to be empowered patients and learn what we can do and what we are entitled to when it comes to our health. After all, what is more important?

Is All Therapy the Same?

As for therapy, it can be helpful but making sure you find the right type of therapy and therapist for that matter can be a key issue. Not all therapists are good and not all modalities of therapy work for everyone. In addition, seeing a nutritionist and starting an exercise program are also important. 

What is Normal?

Think about this, how many people that really take care of themselves emotionally, mentally and physically are still depressed and anxious? How many times have you met someone that ate right, exercised and did things that empowered themselves in their lives that were depressed?

Also, and this may be the most important thing to understand is that everyone goes through hard times. Everyone gets sad and having challenging emotions is normal.

We live in a society that makes it seem like only the weak and unsuccessful struggle with such mundane things. A superficial society that gives so much attention to the person that fails as a laughing stock; someone to be made fun of on a forum online rather than having empathy and compassion.

Deep down, we know that the truth is that we all suffer, we all make mistakes and we all feel depressed and anxious at some point in our lives. This can go on sometimes for long periods of time, especially if we have experienced great loss or trauma. It is through our pain that we can truly appreciate happiness and what it means to be a strong and compassionate person.

Yet often our struggles are portrayed by the media and even ourselves as something that is a shortcoming, a character defect rather than a trial and tribulation in life that most of us at sometime or another must endure. What does it say about us as a society that we judge and even laugh at those who are imperfect and cannot accept ourselves as we really are either? Why are the 'fail' sites that make fun of people so popular? We certainly love to see how screwed up others are so we can feel better about ourselves... but do we really? How long do we let a fantasy of what is perfection and happiness dictate our realities rather than listening to our hearts about what is truly meaningful and worth our attention?

The most successful people in life are those that struggle and fall down only to get back up and fight for themselves and those they love by doing things that are empowering for themselves and others. Taking antidepressants may be the right thing to do for someone who chemically needs them, but for the majority of us it is a quick and sometimes damaging fix when we deserve so much better.

Things You Can Do if you Lose Your Sex Drive on Antidepressants

If you are someone who does need to be on antidepressants and you experience sexual challenges such as: loss of the ability to maintain or achieve an erection in men, loss of lubrication in women, and for both sexes loss of libido (sex drive) and difficulty reaching orgasm or  ability to have orgasm there are some things that you can do to help.

• Discuss the situation with your doctor and if they dismiss your concern, find a good psychiatrist as they are much better trained to address these issues.
  
  
• The antidepressants that are least likely to cause sexual side effects are Wellbutrin, Remeron and Serzone. You should also discuss dosage amounts as this can be adjusted and may make a difference.
  
  
• People taking SSRIs, tricyclics and MAO inhibitors that have taken ginkgo extract have found an improvement in sexual functioning. Ginkgo can cause headache and upset stomach so be aware of that in case you expereince those symptoms.

There are no masturbation sleeves that you can thrust into that are intended to be used without lubricant but there is one that vibrates called the Cobra Libre.

You can also try getting a small vibrator to use to provide stimulation. Here are a few that we think would work well-

The We-Vibe II is designed for couples and is VERY quiet. You can wrap it around the penis to provide stimulation. It is very small and could easily be put in a pocket without anyone knowing. Afterward, it can be used by her too!

Also a simple vibrating bullet might be a good option as they are also quiet and are small enough to easily put in a pocket with no one knowing.

Finally, you can also use fur or feathers that are soft to glide up and down your penis, although these might be a little bit tricky getting in the room without anyone knowing.

Fur Sex Toys

Feather Sex Toys

Then of course there is the old standby… your hand.

Is it possible to have an orgasm with no physical stimulation using only one’s mind to bring on a climax?

Yes! It often takes longer, however it is not uncommon for both men and women to be able to climax without any physical stimulation.

While many individuals have ‘wet dreams,’ where they experience and orgasm during their sleep, this is not what we are referring to when we are talking about orgasms being caused from sexual thoughts and fantasies.

It is perfectly normal for one to simply imagine something sexual that will bring them to climax. This just goes to show how powerful the mind is when examining sexuality. That is why we emphasize the importance of pampering oneself and lover to create a sensual and relaxing environment to achieve the most powerful orgasms. If you are stressed or feeling tense you may find that your mind is actually working against you in allowing you to let go and climax.

That is why we specialize in holistic sex as holistic means to look at the whole person- mentally, emotionally and physically. Too often when it comes to sex we forget how interconnected those are and end up focusing only on the physical aspects of sex.

Being comfortable with one’s self and partner is important and creating a special atmosphere with massage oil candles, massage oils, sex toys and other creative and fun sexual ideas allows for an atmosphere of playfulness. It can greatly enhance one’s ability to relax and let the orgasms begin!

Flexi Risque

10 Function Anal Plug
by California Exotic Novelties

The Flexi Risque was sent to us to review and over all we give it a 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Pros-

The material is soft and smooth and the neck pivots and moves so that you can wiggle it around a bit while inserted.  Also, the base is twists on and off fairly easily to allow for battery placement. It offers 10 functions of vibration from pulsation to escalation and is waterproof (meaning you can submerge it). This baby is powerful, and it is seriously one of the more powerful vibes for an anal plug out there.

Cons-

Because this is such a powerful plug, the trade off is that the noise level is a little on the loud side. However, once it is inserted the noise is greatly reduced. If you were standing outside of the room with the door closed you might be able to hear it faintly, but once inside the same room you would hear its powerful hum. The control is on the bottom of the plug which means that if you wish to sit on it the button may accidentally be pushed and change the settings on it. Unfortunately, this can be a big issue for those that like to sit on a plug and use it by themselves.

• MSRP $28.99
• 3 AAA batteries
• 3.75" x 1.5" / 9.5 cm x 3.75 cm
• ABS with Satin Finish™/PU Cote (probe) Rubber (shaft)